


Shards

by choerryeriace



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Hyerim, Love Confessions, also this is my first fic so sorry if it sucks, hyerim nation where y'all at, it's not that angsty guys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25107757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/choerryeriace/pseuds/choerryeriace
Summary: It was too much, it was all just too much for Yerim. She knew it was dumb, being jealous. She had never considered herself a jealous person, it was the contrary actually, but as she glanced towards the two girls in front of her, she couldn’t help but feel a knot in her stomach.Hyejoo let her hand slide into the blonde’s like it was the most natural thing. It was never like that with Yerim, the two joked around, played pranks on each other and fought. Hyejoo never fought with Chaewon.
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry & Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, Choi Yerim | Choerry/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye
Kudos: 46





	Shards

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic, something short for us content deprived hyerim stans

It was too much, it was all just too much for Yerim. She knew it was dumb, being jealous. She had never considered herself a jealous person, it was the contrary actually, but as she glanced towards the two girls in front of her, she couldn’t help but feel a knot in her stomach.  
Hyejoo let her hand slide into the blonde’s like it was the most natural thing. It was never like that with Yerim, the two joked around, played pranks on each other and fought. Hyejoo never fought with Chaewon.

It hurt. It hurt because she was Hyejoo’s best friend, and that was all she could ever be. She felt her lips quiver slightly. No, they were live, she couldn’t allow herself to cry. Not in that moment, at least, she already knew she was going to pass the night sobbing in her pillow, while everyone else was asleep. She had passed the last few weeks like that, at first trying to deny her feelings, thinking that maybe she was interpreting them wrong somehow. Then, one day, it suddenly hit here, why her heart fluttered when Hyejoo was around, why she felt butterflies in her stomach, why she felt so ecstatic when she was with the girl... and so upset when her best friend was with someone else. And she also finally understood the way Chaewon looked at their friend, because it was the same as hers.

Love. 

Nothing but simple, plain, old love. Yerim thought her first time falling in love would have been different. She thought it would be warmth spreading through her body, shy smiles, the comfort of seeing your loved one’s eyes. She thought she would feel like her heart could jump out of her body from happiness. But that was far from the truth. It felt like a piercing pain through her heart, like never ending tears. It was bitter. Maybe it was different for Chaewon, Hyejoo only had eyes for her, anyway. In those past weeks she had tried to despise the blonde, but she had found out she simply couldn’t, because, just like her, she was in love. And she was just as deserving to be loved. Not to mention, Chaewon, first and foremost, was her friend, and she would never give her up, not even if it meant hiding her feelings.

Despite her efforts, her heartache must have been quite evident, because she felt a hand slip into hers and squeeze tightly. Heejin led her into a spot faraway from the others, not loosening the grip on her hand. She enveloped her into a hug, slowly caressing her head.

“What’s wrong, Yerim? It’s not like you to look like this” she murmured, not wanting to catch anyone’s attention. Yerim felt tears prickle her eyes. This time, she let a few fall down. They were far from the camera, anyway, and the viewers were probably focused on whatever Hyejoo and Chaewon were doing. The bitterness came back, more and more tears coming out until she was sobbing into her friend’s shoulder, holding her tightly.

“Hey… It’s okay, Yerim. Maybe we should go outside for a bit, come on”. Heejin led her outside of the room, making sure her face wasn’t seen and hoping the others wouldn’t notice their absence. She stopped only when she was far away, so that no one could hear them.  
Then she turned to the younger girl, hand still holding hers.

“What’s going on?” She asked again, a reassuring smile on her lips. Yerim couldn’t respond. The girls were all accepting and open-minded, but she just couldn’t.

“It’s nothing, I just... have a headache, don’t worry about me!” She answered, doing her best to show her usual enthusiasm. Heejin raised an eyebrow, a sad expression on her face.

“You always say that... we are your friends, Yerim, we want to see you happy! Don’t push us away, if you just let us help you--” “YOU CAN’T HELP ME! NO ONE CAN!” The older girl took a step back, startled by her friend’s sudden burst of anger. Yerim realized she had raised her tone and sighed, running a hand through her hair.

“Sorry, Heejin, I--” “Just tell us, tell me! I can’t stand seeing you like this! How can I pretend everything’s normal, how can I let you suffer alone?! I love you, Yerim, we all do, we’re your friends! We can do something, we can help you…” She replied. Her eyes were looking glossy. Yerim bit her lip forcefully.

“I like Hyejoo!” She squeezed her eyes tight, not wanting to let any more tears come out. Heejin held her breath. 

“...what? Yerim, I-- I had no idea, you…” She stuttered out. She was shocked, because that never crossed her mind, and, for the same reason, she was extremely mad at herself. She didn’t know what to say, so she just hugged her friend instead, trying to convey all her support.

“Thank you for telling me, and I’m sorry for pressuring you to say it. I really had no idea… I’m sorry for that too, I should've noticed sooner. But Yerim, please know that all of us will support you, don’t be afraid of speaking up with us.” She continued, stroking the smaller girl’s back reassuringly.

“Thank you, Heejin… for being here, and for being okay with it... ” Yerim replied, resting her head on her friend’s shoulder. Heejin nodded.

“Of course, we’re all okay with it, you know that… but tell me about Hyejoo.” Yerim bit her tongue for a second, scared to finally admit her feelings out loud.

“I… I realized two weeks ago, but maybe I’ve been feeling like this for longer… I don’t know. I’m in love with her… and she’s not, what else do you want to know?” She answered eventually. Heejin looked at her with a doubtful expression.

“How can you be sure about that, though? You two are really close, you never know what she might feel for you!” Yerim looked down, she couldn't talk about Chaewon, she had to come out whenever she was ready, and she had no right to out her to Heejin like that.

“I have my reasons… actually, I don’t even know if she likes girls as a whole.” She replied, it was the first time that thought had surfaced into her mind. Great, another reason to stay up at night, just what Yerim needed. The older of the two nodded in understanding.

“I see… so what are you planning to do?”

“Excuse me?” 

“Yeah, do you plan to keep suffering forever until you eventually fall out of love like an idiot or…?” Yerim was left dumbfounded: that was exactly her plan. She hadn’t even thought about the option of doing something. She was a coward, after all.

“W-WELL YEAH… what else am I supposed to do?!” Heejin shrugged in response.

“Oh, I don’t know, find out if she likes girls? Flirt with her and see how she reacts? Confess? The possibilities are endless, you just gotta try and see!” She replied enthusiastically. Yerim wasn’t so sure about that.

“But what if she doesn’t like girls? What if she reacts negatively and rejects me? I couldn't handle that…” She responded quietly, shaking her head. Heejin brushed her hair.

“But what if she does? Then you’ll live with the regret of not having done anything!” Yerim remained quiet. 

“Wanna go back inside now? The other girls are gonna start getting worried.” Heejin turned to where they had come from. She stopped dead in her tracks.

“Oh boy.” She said. Yerim raised an eyebrow in response.

“What’s the matter Heej--” She turned. “Oh.”

There, frozen in her spot, was the only girl she didn’t want to be heard from, Hyejoo.  
She was just standing there, mouth slightly agape. For a few seconds everything was silent.  
Yerim forced herself to say something, despite the knot forming in her throat.

“H-Hyejoo, what are you doing here?” She asked nervously, fingers playing with the hem of her skirt. Her voice seemed to get Hyejoo back to reality. The girl cleared her throat.

“I was going to the uh… to the bathroom! So, if you’ll excuse me…” She replied, a slight tremble in her voice which would’ve gone unnoticed if Yerim hadn’t known her so well.  
They stared at each other for a few seconds, a thick tension surrounding them.  
Hyejoo broke the eye contact first, she cleared her throat again and walked past her, staring at the ground. Once she was out of sight, Heejin, who had nervously watched the exchange from the side, grabbed Yerim’s hand.

“Yerim, I am SO sorry, this is all my fault! If only I hadn’t made you talk about it--” she said regretfully, clenching her fist.Yerim put a hand on her mouth delicately, a tense smile on her lips.

“You got nothing to worry about, Heejin, like you said, I should've done sometimes sooner or later… you go back to the others now, I’ll… I’ll go after her, it’s too late to go back now!” Her tone was as positive as always, but her eyes were filled with anguish. But Yerim was right, it was too late to back down, so Heejin did as she was told. The walk back was almost as dreadful as Yerim’s. She wanted to make sure someone was there for her if Hyejoo… but she needed to give those two some time alone.

Yerim wondered if the bathroom had always been so far away. Every step she took her heart hurt more than the previous one. She felt like the little mermaid, to whom every step felt like walking on glass shards. As a child, Yerim thought it was a weird story, but now she thought that the way love was depicted wasn’t that far away from the truth. Maybe it wasn’t like that for Chaewon. 

Chaewon.

Yerim had been so focused on herself that she had forgotten about her friend. She stopped dead in her tracks. What was she doing? She was going to talk to Hyejoo in hope that the girl would accept her confession, but even if she did that, what would Yerim do then? She couldn’t do that to Chaewon… She couldn’t. She had to go back and tell her, at least.  
She stood still in her spot. If Hyejoo reciprocated or if she didn’t was irrelevant. Either way, she was inevitably going towards a heartbreak. Tears started spilling again. She should really stop crying, it was getting too much for one day.

She should’ve gone back, given up, talk about it to Chaewon, like a good person.  
But Yerim was a coward, wasn’t she? And like every coward, if she couldn't escape this situation, she would've rather gone through it quickly, rip the band aid immediately, than dragging it for too long. She mentally apologized to Chaewon, but if she had even one chance, she was going to take it. She felt disgusted at herself, for being so selfish, for not caring about her friend, for starting to walk again, towards the bathroom. But she was tired, so immensely tired, of hurting, of crying herself to sleep, of walking on shards everyday, waiting for something to happen. And when she finally reached the door of that damn bathroom, she didn’t hesitate, she turned the knob quickly, almost desperately, to know, to rip the band aid. 

Hyejoo was there, leaning on the sink. Had she been waiting for her? Yerim got closer, right in front of her, coughing lightly to make the girl look at her. It revealed not to be a good idea.  
The second the taller girl raised her eyes towards her, every thought, every plan, disappeared. It wasn’t the first time she had stared into Hyejoo’s eyes, but it was different now, wasn’t it? She averted her gaze.

“I think we need to talk.” she said, so quietly that she feared the girl in front of her wouldn’t hear her. Instead, Hyejoo nodded, a serious expression sharpening her usually soft features. 

“I don’t know how much of that you heard, but I--” Yerim bit the inside of her cheek before continuing, “I like you, Hyejoo, and I don’t know if you feel the same- hell, I don’t even know why I’m telling you but… this is how I feel, now you know.” She said, not once raising her eyes from the ground, but she could feel Hyejoo’s stare on her nonetheless. Persistent and harsh. Not a good sign.

“Yerim, listen--” “I know, you don’t feel the same. I expected it really! It’s better this way, anyway--” She interrupted her, a forced smile on her smile. She was an idiot. At least Chaewon wouldn’t be hurt.

“No, that’s… that’s not it… I just--” Hyejoo looked apologetic, but sincere. Did she like her back? Or was she just trying not to hurt Yerim’s feelings? The latter probably. This time she was the one lowering her eyes. She looked... vulnerable?

“Are you.. are you okay? Look, you don’t have to sugar coat it, I get it!” The shorter said, unsure whether to hug the girl to comfort her or not. Hyejoo raised her eyes again, looking the most serious Yerim had ever seen her.

“I- I don’t-- ugh!” she let out a frustrated sigh, her face was becoming a weird pink color.

“What I’m trying to say is… I- I… I like you too, there I said it!” Wait. Stop. Rewind. 

What?

“I’ve been for a while, actually, but you’re the first… you know, the first girl I had these feelings for, and I didn’t know how to interpret them, and then when I heard you in the hallway I just… realized, and I got scared, scared of admitting it to myself, or... to you… and I’m sorry, for not realizing sooner, for making you wait, for not saying anything…” Yerim was frozen, every muscle in her body relaxed, all the tension melted away. She thought her heart was going to explode. A smile crept up unwillingly on her lips, her cheeks hurt, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore, because Hyejoo was in front of her, smiling timidly at her, confessing her feelings. Yerim launched herself into the girl’s arms. She had fantasized about this moment countless times before, and she always thought she would be crying in this moment, but the only thing she could do was smile. Hyejoo wrapped her arms around her, somewhat hesitant.

“I can’t believe this is real! Oh my God, this is REAL!” The shorter exclaimed excitedly into her neck. Then she separated herself from her shyly. Hyejoo raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Can I… can I kiss you?” Yerim asked while playing with her hair. A heavy blush made its way to Hyejoo’s cheeks. Her mouth was dry. She must have nodded a bit too quickly, because the shorter girl let out a small giggle. 

What happened afterwards is a confused memory in Hyejoo’s mind. She remembers Yerim’s soft fingers grazing her hair, her cheeks, her lips. She remembers her hands were trembling, but the look in her eyes was of pure determination. She remembers getting lost in those eyes, so familiar to her, yet she could never get enough of them. When those eyes closed, so did hers, and everything else is just a blur in her mind. She remembers the warmth that spread from her heart, though, the pure and simple happiness, because there was no other way to describe what she felt, if not utter joy. 

When Yerim broke the kiss they looked at each other and laughed, giggled like kids for what felt like hours. When they stopped they simply stared at each other like idiots, in love sure, but still idiots.

“You’re all red!” Yerim pointed out with a smirk, earning a scoff from the taller girl.

“Look who’s talking, Yerim. You should have seen your face when I confessed, you looked SO dumb, you were like,” Hyejoo did an exaggerated version of her expression. Yerim punched her in the stomach.

“SHUT UP! You were literally acting like a silly teenager in love…” She retorted, faking a disgusted expression. Hyejoo waved a hand in front of her face, unfazed.

“I can’t say that’s wrong, though. I literally am a dumb teenager in love, isn’t that right?” She replied with a smirk. Yerim scoffed to hide the growing smile on her lips.

“Dumb, for sure.” She said jokingly. Hyejoo gasped dramatically, but before she could reply someone knocked on the bathroom door.

“Hey guys, I don’t know what the hell you two are doing in there, but Heejin forced me to stay out of the bathroom until you two were done and it’s already been, like, thirty minutes and I REALLY need to pee, so if you could gently WRAP IT UP... “ Yerim sighed with a smile.

“Sure, Jinsoul, we’re coming out!” Hyejoo elbowed her in the stomach. 

“Literally AND metaphorically!” Shewhispered, earning a look from the smaller girl.

“I bet you feel really smart right now.” She replied sarcastically. The taller simply shrugged.  
Then she gave her a quick peck on her lips and got up, already opening the door while Yerim was still frozen in her place.

“Oh, thank God, finally!” The blonde exclaimed as she rushed to the closest stall. The two girls left her alone in the bathroom and went back towards the room where they were having the live. 

THE LIVE. 

They had completely forgotten about it, not that it was the priority, of course, but someone must have noticed by then. Whatever, they could just make up something on the spot.  
Yerim slid her hand into Hyejoo’s, whose lips immediately turned into a smile.  
Walking on shards was worth it, after all, because nothing could replace that moment, as they walked silently in the hallway, hand in hand, Hyejoo’s head rested comfortably on hers.  
“I love you” she said suddenly. Hyejoo squeezed her hand.

“I love you too, dummy”

**Author's Note:**

> i planned to do something with chae at the end but i felt too bad for her ,,,
> 
> anyways thanks for reading mwah


End file.
